Sometimes God breaks our spirit to save our soul Sometimes He breaks our heart to make us whole Sometimes He allows us to pain so that we can be stronger Sometimes He sends us failure so we can be humble Sometimes He sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves Sometimes He takes EVERYTHING away from us so that we can learn the value of EVERYTHING we have
3 SIGNIFICANT WORDS seem to surface when I reflect upon the past week.
I think I see a window opening when I met Albert and Deborah at Tropicana City in PJ. I am about to see how my creativity workshop skills developed during the last 22 years will play in this new venture. As a trainer and facilitator, I will see how my gifts will fit into a world of corporate training, hopefully with more emphasis on self actualization and personhood. Time to play!
Early in the morning I had felt a little disturbance in my throat. It was at this meeting that I shivered cos the aircond was cold. I am already a pretty animated person when I talk, and with my shivers I looked like an energizer monkey strapped with a 1000V battery! And with 2 days left before flying off to HK, a definite "alamak" moment.
The Hong Kong trip was amazing. Traveling with my parents and sisters abroad for the first time was a much delayed dream. These plans were actually made many years ago before finally buying tickets for a Sept 2007 trip. Then my accident happened on Aug 12th, 2007 and had to sadly cancel those plans. Fortunately, we could seek a full refund.
HK had its many funny moments. We had laughed so hard when we first walked into our rooms at Butterfly on Prat Hotel at Tsim Sha Tsui. The bathroom had see-thru doors and panels! Imagine lying on the bed and one can even see another showering! Wait a minute; beyond seeing the showers, one can also see another sitting at the bowl! When I discovered that, I called my sisters and they laughed and giggled when they realized it only after a few minutes settling in the room.
Anyway, we had some of the panels "designer"-covered by the hospitality ladies. Such are the modern hotel rooms these days!
Man preparing Mixed Beef Stew
Loved the Stinky Tau Foo! The Malaysian Stinky Tau Foo can give the HK one a run for their money!
And so we had fun eating and walking around. With Wendy and Calvin, it was easier to get around HK with our MTR cards as we hopped from one station to another. As it was raining most of the time, it became a joy even to brave the wind and seeing each other fumble with their umbrellas. Our highlights included funny and insightful meals, especially Dim Sum (mouth watering), Stinky Bean Curd, Mixed Beef on Skewers, Wanton and Mixed Beef Noodles, Curry Fishballs and meals with lots of dishes! There were 7 of us especially during the big meals! Our bills ran from HKD 241 (Dim Sum - 14 dishes) to HKD 500 (7 dinner sets).
Yummy Prawn Wanton Noodles!
Dim Sum: Prawn Dumpling and Mixed Beef Stew
Claypot Lamb
Since we were right at the centre of HK activities at Tsim Sha Tsui, we attended Sunday morning Mass at Rosary Church on Chatham, a 5 minute walk. Much fun buying souvenirs at the shop next to the church. I think I bought over 20 items!
We capped off our trip upon touching KL with a Sichaun Steamboat Buffet Dinner at Puchong. 10 of us. Woo hoo... amazing to have tasted the scallops, "malat" Sichuan Soup, sliced beef, their special onion-coriander mix, mushrooms and even ice cream. Nothing much to add except *burp*.
The next day... catching up with all the news. Having twitter'd from and in HK, we as Perakians were aware with the fiasco there. In solidarity with home, I had decided to do my own version of fasting. My parents went back to Ipoh this morning. I had taken only bread and water today. Fasting is not new to me as I still fast from meat on Weds and Fridays since 1988. Sometimes it becomes a habit but I pray that this will renew my passion to be a tiny speck for change, a hope for love to eclipse any earthly greed. One of which is for the greed for political power to be erased.
Bravo YKLS!!! Fabulous performance, great energy! Susanna and whoever who ran the production, congratulations!
I love the education behind the show. Great job YKLS. I hope more general public (and not only music lovers) came to the show, and looking forward to raising the music awareness among people here.
Thanks Yaw, Nilesh, Chong Yew, and Tian Kiat for making the band blended well with the choir. I dont feel the band was disturbing like the first time I heard, Thanks the shadow fingers master Cher Siang! LOL
Michael, you deserved the biggest compliment of the night. Every movement they made gave me spine-tingling excitement... my hair stood dude! I even curi curi took pictures with my cellphone. Shoehorn's Ramblings: Breakin' It Down!
THE PARADOX of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgement, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
• Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. • Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. • Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. • Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. • Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER....
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
6TH MONTH X-RAYS were taken on Valentine's Day, Feb 14th, 2008.
Been 3 months since my last x-rays... I did prepare myself for some surprises (the negative sort). Comparing both x-rays from the 3 months gap, one can hardly see a significant change. Up-close with a doctor's explanation, there are some callous bone formation but clearly, the gap can be seen.
Dr Shue (Gleneagles Intan) told me that if the gap still persists, we might have to consider removing 1 screw from each inner end (that locks the bone in place). So, another visit in 2 months (sigh) to determine more accurately of its necessity.
Since I am writing this 3 weeks after, the news is much better now. I can walk without a crutch at home though with a limp. It was also 3 weeks ago that I started my own physio at the pool downstairs. Why I didn't do this before? Well, it was so dirty for so many months that the thought of sepsis scared me.
Thanks for your continued prayer and kind thoughts... and for reading.
HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING since I last went to visit the doctor on 30th Oct, 2007. Been back in my own condo since then, 27 days now. Been mostly down. Doctor had told me to lower my expectations. I had to readjust and still finding patience to let go and let it heal at its own timing. Motivation is at a low, been lapsing in my home physio and coupled with crashes of my new MacBook and G5 Desktop, it has been a real test....
SOME OF THE BEST Broadway productions I have seen are amongst the ones above. It started as a a Top 10 list but it got so difficult to choose especially when it came down to the 9th-10th and 11th-12th. Now it has turned out to be a Top 28 Musicals + 1 Play. Sometimes I feel Hairspray should be in the Top 10 but then again, The Lion King also has its entertaining qualities. This is purely on a recall basis at this moment in time and NOT based on the soundtrack, music or big stars in it.
•1• _______________ 9 & 8 Years ago: HipHopera the Musical went on stage Sept 2, 1999 for the second run of 27 shows. The first season in 1998 ran for 22 shows thus totalling 49, that time the record of longest running musical in KL. •2• _______________ 10 years ago: When I had stopped volunteer work in counselling at Emmaus Counselling Centre after 5 years. Tonight is Emmaus' 20th Anniversary Celebrations in PJ. •3• _______________ 10 years ago: I had performed in Sydney and visited the Sydney Dance Company. Also celebrated my Birthday at Planet Hollywood with the kind folks of the Low Yat Group. •4• _______________ 10 years ago: Performed Scintillations with Ramli Ibrahim, Michael Veerapan & Ms Malaysia Samantha Schubert and underwater modelling under Michael Loh for the KLCC Gallery Opening. •5• _______________ 10 years ago: Car drove into me while I was on my way to be interviewed by Faridah Merican on Radio. Sprained wrist and palm. Accident announced on national radio! •6• _______________ 10 years ago: Sept 13, Fook Sun & Oon Oon's Wedding Anniv. Happy Anniversary! Fook Sun is my oldest friend from the same Kindegarten, Primary and Secondary classes! •7• _______________ 10 years ago: Calvin, funny we celebrate our friendship the same time as Fook Sun's wedding anniversary! •8• _______________ 20 years ago: Came home upon graduating from Colorado, NST (Fatimah Abu Bakar - editor) had an article on me with the title "Overachiever". Such irony, am the opposite! •9• _______________ 30 years ago: Won my one and only bronze swimming medal in breast-stroke (Form 1). I was the shortest in class and in all primary school. No kidding. •10• _______________ 43 years ago: My Birthday. Thanking God for a fulfilling life. Ooyeah!
NEW X-RAYS WERE taken today at Gleneagles Intan Hospital, for my 6th week progress checkup with Dr Shue.
Summary: Bone forming according to schedule but I can't help feeling a little down. I had hoped for a speedier recovery with the supplements of Calcium, Protein and MultiVites that I have been taking. I had also hoped for going back to work on both feet a little sooner for Adrenaline! has been rewarded another Digi Amazing Malaysians project in Melaka. Petra and Kennedy, aww...
Ossification for that part of the femur is slower than the ends of the thigh bone because it is cancellous or called spongy bone. On x-ray, it is currently not solid white... I do see some white bridges connecting the solids but sadly, more black gaps are visible. So, no weight on my right foot still. Oh well, more rest and physios ahead for another 6 weeks!
EVERY NOW & THEN I have an assortment of flashbacks from my 12 days spent in the hospital. One of those are of bizarre dreams undulating in and out of my states of sleep, wake and in-betweens. None of them I can remember now but this I remember a nun having said: "Dreams are various parts of you reacting to different situations or feelings. Even the characters that are known to you in the dream are actually mainly you and components of yourself."
Try to think of a dream you remember, rather than seeing different people as entirely OTHER than you, pick the general feelings of these people toward you and ask what parallels these feelings are of you ON yourself.
________ This is slightly irrelevant. A friend of mine just told me about her dream, kinda cute. Doreen, this gives me hope *wink*.
Doreen's Dream: "I had a dream about you a couple of days ago. You were holding a solo dance performance in some sort of a café. And there were lots of people there, mostly people I knew like my mom and my sister and my cousin. Strange that they were all my family members! And you were walking around greeting your guests."
MANY HAVE ASKED me how I am, so I thought I'd better update my progress on the blog.
Tonight marks the 31st night since my fall on Aug 12th. Been a month! I have been out of the hospital for 19 days now (12 days in hospital). For those who need a recap, I lost my balance on my Jaguh on MRR2 at 8.12 pm. No other vehicles were involved. Eventually, the bike landed on my right thigh and broke the femur bone into 2. Straight to the point, ouch! (To be continued on "Scene of Mishap" below)
I am now mostly on crutches for short distances and a wheelchair for longer ones. Yeah, I do get pushed around a lot these days! But no lah... I am shown much love and care. Angels around me. Much are the tear-drawing-type kinda care and love-in-action! *wink*
I would be kidding if I had not been frustrated at times throughout this recovery period. The nights and sleeps are painful most times... with constant pricking and screwing at my inner bones and nerves. In the early stages I couldn't even rotate to the side to sleep. After a week, I used a soft pillow in between the legs to rotate gently to the left but not to the right for my operation was that side - running from my waist down to the side of my knee in 5 lines totalling 18.25 inches.
(Nice to be pushed around, even got to go to Ikea, watched Ratatouille and celebrated Birthdays. Many angels involved)
I had stayed off pain killers for the last 2.5 weeks for I believe they wouldn't help me in the long run. With the pain, I just have to unite that with my faith, as a sort of atonement. When I am able to align that, I do feel much grace and peace. The little sufferings I feel are but only a fraction of the much greater pain others feel - be it in physical or emotional pain.
My next appointment with the doctor is Thurs, 20th Aug with new X-rays taken. There I will find out more about my progress. In cases like mine, I would usually have to stay off my injured leg for 3 months. It takes 6-8 weeks for the fractured bones to merge, though in its less-solid stage. If nerves are involved, it can go up to 6 months because nerves only grow an inch each month! Thank God my spine is ok but my groin nerves have been affected. To me its not a problem, really!
As far as work is concerned, I am kinda worried. This year may end up as my poorest earning year since 1990. I lost a TV ad job, a teaching job, a facilitating project, a movie role (never been in a movie), jobs with 8TV (not asked for OIAM2), desktop publishing for NGOs and so on. I may be wheelchair/crutches bound, I am determined to get out and work again.
(Sept 2nd. Celebrated my Chinese Birthday at a Porridge Steamboat Restaurant)
__________ Bought an ankle band yesterday... so that this will not happen to my foot again! Water retention when I am away from the bed for too long. Foot looks like it belongs to a 200 pounder guy! Eeeww.
__________ SCENE OF MISHAP:
THE HEAVY BIKE dropped on its side and according to the driver behind, he saw sparks flew from the drag. The almost full tank (RM20 worth) sat only cms from my balls. No kidding. If I had worn boxers, the jewels would have been crushed!!!
As you can see from the pics taken at the scene (refer to Mishap entry), I was really that normal and calm looking. I HAD to stay collected for who knows, I may have gone into shock and fainted. I managed to drag myself into the middle of the highway but as I arrived there after a short 3 metres, I soon realised that something was wrong with my legs. My right leg didn't behave right for I could not lift nor control it. I yanked the rain pants upwards like a puppeteer would for a limb to move.
Mind you, I had extra padding in the form of rain pants and rain boots over my usual clothing and sport shoes. I also had on a thick leather jacket which saw minor abrasions. All in all, they may have prevented complete bone crushes and other agonising fractures to my limbs! Angels protected me I know! Wish I can play the song ANGEL by Sarah McLachlan right here! *chuckles*
Thank you Angels, my Guardian Angel and St. Michael my Protector!
_____
ANGEL - Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay there's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
* in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack it don't make no difference escaping one last time it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees *
Rojak MXV Bio:
1. Graduated in Performing Arts - Dance, Graphic Comm & Fine Arts from Colorado, USA.
2. Lectured last 17 years in digital/graphic design, dance, choreography and performing arts nationally with works internationally featured in the USA, France and Australia.
3. Recent works: directed Young KL Singers/Wicked Pitches and Malay College KK Alumni, choreographed McD TVC, facilitated in Digi's Amazing Malaysians, choreographed/acted in the popular Musical Hip-Hopera, pre-judge/choreographer for So You Think You Can Dance, performed on Broadway Times Square, coached actors of Popiah Pictures; Realiti TV drama, choreographed Susuk the Movie, choreographed/performed in TV Ads: Munchys, Mamee w Akademi Fantasia, GA Blues and Streamyx Informercials. was dancing BlueHyppo in Streamyx TV ads. Acted and performed in more than 100 stage and TV productions for the last 30 years.
4. Lectured at Sunway University College/TARC/KBU/Cenfad/PJ College and coached 8-Unit artistes such as Jaclyn Victor, Daniel Lee Chee Hun, Malaysian Idols, One in a Million and Project Superstar artistes. 7th year as dance and music theatre judge for Kakiseni's BOH Cameronian Awards.
